I Didn't Know Gloria Was Sick!
You win.
I've got nothin', friends in the Power Elite.
I'm sittin' here tonight watching Toby Keith videos...
Most of them are a little too flag-wavin' for me, but that As Good As I Once Was song really speaks to me.
And you win. I admit it.
I'm out - my Kodiak-full of gum would snarl at you if it weren't about to fall off...
Assholes.
Screw you--I'm still happy.
So there.
Where was I?
It's a self-proclaimed "off weekend"...
Next weekend, I'll be in DC for Niki's birthday.
Whether Niki or her best friend knows it yet, we're going to Chief Ike's Mambo Room like it's going out of style.
Chief Ike's is my second-favorite bar in the world.
It'll be good to be back.
Besides, as far as I can recollect, I owe a guy there $50 and a woman there owes me a slap across the face.
If they're not there, I'll do a couple of shots and then dance like I've been electrocuted...
Either way, I want to hear "I'm Coming Up" mixed in with that Puff Daddy song.
And I want to drink under-priced Martinis by Chief Ike's aquarium.
I don't think either is too much to ask.
I could add more, but I don't want to bore my legions of fans.
Fuck, my own life is sufficiently depressing...
Like how, at age 32, I ended up with asthma.
And how at 32 and 4/25ths I ended up uncool, turning down a good time and asking to be excused from a private karaoke room full of Russians, vodka and cigarettes...
Dammit.
Do I ever stop sucking?
Screw you all. And screw me, too.
Oh, and in case you still fucking care, my favorite bar in the world is in Nashville.
It's here. And so is its website.
I did twelve shots of Jack with Hank Williams' ghost at that place one night...
He inspred me.
Oh, and he had a message for you all: screw you people.
That was his message, so don't kill the messenger.
I've got nothin', friends in the Power Elite.
I'm sittin' here tonight watching Toby Keith videos...
Most of them are a little too flag-wavin' for me, but that As Good As I Once Was song really speaks to me.
And you win. I admit it.
I'm out - my Kodiak-full of gum would snarl at you if it weren't about to fall off...
Assholes.
Screw you--I'm still happy.
So there.
Where was I?
It's a self-proclaimed "off weekend"...
Next weekend, I'll be in DC for Niki's birthday.
Whether Niki or her best friend knows it yet, we're going to Chief Ike's Mambo Room like it's going out of style.
Chief Ike's is my second-favorite bar in the world.
It'll be good to be back.
Besides, as far as I can recollect, I owe a guy there $50 and a woman there owes me a slap across the face.
If they're not there, I'll do a couple of shots and then dance like I've been electrocuted...
Either way, I want to hear "I'm Coming Up" mixed in with that Puff Daddy song.
And I want to drink under-priced Martinis by Chief Ike's aquarium.
I don't think either is too much to ask.
I could add more, but I don't want to bore my legions of fans.
Fuck, my own life is sufficiently depressing...
Like how, at age 32, I ended up with asthma.
And how at 32 and 4/25ths I ended up uncool, turning down a good time and asking to be excused from a private karaoke room full of Russians, vodka and cigarettes...
Dammit.
Do I ever stop sucking?
Screw you all. And screw me, too.
Oh, and in case you still fucking care, my favorite bar in the world is in Nashville.
It's here. And so is its website.
I did twelve shots of Jack with Hank Williams' ghost at that place one night...
He inspred me.
Oh, and he had a message for you all: screw you people.
That was his message, so don't kill the messenger.
1 Comments:
What's making me laugh the most is that Niki tells me that there was one place that you REALLY wanted to go this weekend, but she couldn't remember the name.
"It's something-and-something," She says, "and may have the word Rudy in it..."
I'm smacking myself in the head for not taking her obvious clues and realizing that it was Chief Ike's Mambo Room...
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